Yes, this is a diary. Obviously, however, I'm not going to keep track of some of the personal and confidential events that I go through in my life here, but it's still a diary. Heh, remember when we actually had journals to write in for our thoughts? Oh wait, people still do! I'm just weird.
SEP 21 @ 10:36 PM | today i experienced a blast from the past and i felt the need to make sure that people knew harambe once existed. oh harraammbe. you didn't have to go away, but they made you, didn't they.
SEP 20 @ 07:53 AM | Currently hanging out with my alien buddy I got from Area 51. This bastard sure bits a lot. I had set up the raid from the very beginning to make it so that while all the staff is above focusing on casual trespassers, I, a genius-level intellectual, have dug underground to their base with my trusty diamond pickaxe. You all are mere puppets to my fantastic, grand plan. The military should have used bedrock. *shaking my head* I have found a little companion with me. I call him Lumphree the Alien. Lump for short. I could call him "Lum", but that isn't any fun.
SEP 17 @ 11:36 AM | so there was a test in French class today and, as usual, it's loud and obnoxious. i'm sitting here doing my work trying my best to visualize my notes. all of a dankling dookling sudden, everyone goes silent. the stressed monsieur goes to sit on his chair with content since he doesn't have to calm the class down anymore. then, out of the blue, someone from my row asks, "what's 'food' in French?" and the guy at the corner goes, "it's baguette,
nigga. are you STUPID?" and i just HAD it. i was LITERALLY DONE. i died right then and there from literally laughing too fuuckingsga hard. this is my ghost typing on my laptop. my parents are mourning in my living room after just hearing about the news.
SEP 13 @ 10:29 PM | i survived a full moon on Friday the 13th... you heard it here first, folks, i'm the ONLY survivor. that's right. if you're reading this, then you're a ghost. you've died and your consciousness has transferred to a duplicate realm of existence that is exactly the same as my own in every way except for the body that you inhabit, which is alive and not dead.
SEP 13 @ 01:56 PM | we're alreadyy deaaaddddd. our little human dirt BRAINS are just too simple to perceive it. we're living in a book, goddamnittt, and we're TOO DUMB to be able skip the pages so we read it word for word one at a time.
SEP 11 @ 09:16 PM | i want to WRITEE something, i want to COOOOK something, i want to CREATEEEEE something, but WHYYYY????? humans thrive on having purpose, no matter how insignificant the purpose is. THAT'S why. but..... why...? and how much does it weigh? (i can't believe i laughed at this vsauce joke a minute after jotting it down).
SEP 11 @ 11:47 AM | a guy in physics told me that when he was a youngster, he thought that 9/11 was some blockbuster movie that everyone saw except for him. there was another guy who didn't even know it was 9/11 and then, when realizing it was, literally laughed out loud and said, "HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE DATE" and the teacher sent him out.
AUG 24 @ 10:01 PM | i remember one year in u.s. history class when some know-it-all kid shouted out that the topic we were going over was of martin luther king's last march and some other kid said, "dude stop fucking spoiling it!" because he didn't know. good days, mang.
AUG 24 @ 08:07 PM | dude, it's only a matter of time before i start sitting on benches in parks wondering why kids "these days" are so weird. i did it with the freshmen already.